Statement

Race, gender, and sexual orientation, are signifying labels attached to us from the moment of birth, whether we accept them or attempt to change them. As a gay Asian-American male, I often face marginalization within an already marginalized community – the gay community. My worth in much of my encounters within gay culture are based on my racial identity as either undesirable or an object of sexual fetish. I often feel displaced from the gay community due to racial prejudice, finding more acceptance within a heteronormative male community. With this undertaking to hide – to be as straight  as I can be – I question my own masquerade and its influence on the development of homophobia within myself as a form of defense. It is this disidentification, that has led me to question my morality, treatment of others, and its alignment with gay or straight culture.

My work often takes the form of text and light installations that examines these internal struggles by naming them using biology as metaphor, i.e., the class of cephalopods such as octopus, squid, and cuttlefish. A cephalopod’s aptitude to camouflage in plain sight through its ability to learn systems of deception, utilizing spatial memory, personalities, mimicry, and motor play enthralls me. Their powers for extreme adaptation coupled with the tragedy that is their endless life of deceit and independence, make them a great specimen to investigate both physiologically and psychologically. Cuttlefish are experimented on to test the extent of their body patterning capabilities. They are placed in tanks with different manmade designs, such as: stripes, dots, florals, and checkerboards to see how efficiently they are able to reproduce the pattern(s) on their skin, and test the limits of their skin colour. Out of all these patterns, black and white grids the most challenging for a cuttlefish to imitate due to their innate organic physiology; this failure to fit into a natural environment for the animal would invite peril and perhaps even death.

In my artistic practice, this act of survival and determination to hide in plain sight within a dangerous environment, has developed into metaphor for phenomena represented by cognitive dissonance and social cognitive theory, namely, trying to fit in. Ultimately, I am describing not only a battle with white heteronormativity, but also a battle with an ever-developing internalized homophobia for a culture that made me once want to forsake my own racial identity.